Case 1
This all started on a quiet night out. Sindies was holding an alternative night. Alternative in this area constitutes as having musical talent, but I digress. It should be said now I am a Goth, right from the top of my back-combed hair, to the tip of my pointy shoes. This starts at the end of that night.
Frightfully sober I left the club. The layout of public transport follows all the usual rules, namely:
My make-up was in good condition, not even my lipstick was smudged, but it happened that the 'lads' at the bus stop thought otherwise, well, actually... They thought I was quite attractive. It's fun watching a bloke chat you up for half an hour when all you do is smile and nod and watch the expression on his face when you tell him you must be going as that is your bus, because that is the exact moment that he finds out that you are a man.
Case 2
I was nursing a pint, enjoying the conversation with an old friend, Paula. It was the usual inconsequential tracking of love lives, lamentations for not having one.
Paula got up and went to the ladies.
Within seconds a blonde, admittedly not bad to look at came over and started to talk to me.
"You work at Vidbiz, dunt ya?"
"Yes, and?"
"Well, I got Rocky 5 out last night, and it's crap."
I smiled, "I could have told you that."
The woman thrust her breasts in my direction, whilst brushing her hair away from her face. "Can I get a free film."
Somehow I didn't tell her to fuck off. Instead, in a moment of rare kindness I just ignored her. She walked off a little embarrassed, or so I hoped. At that time Paula emerged from the toilet.
Case 3
Then. Then there is the "Kettle Incident" *shudder* A friend, who will remain nameless introuduced us to this.... woman. She was distinctly lacking in intelligence and after the 6 hours we had to endure her we (Marc and myself) found we had to go back on the same nightbus.
I don't sleep much on nightbuses, but Marc tends to, and he was attempting to fall asleep whilst I had to deal with this... woman. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of inane 2-dimentional conversation this... woman accused (the now asleep) Marc of being ignorant.
I just happened to say "That's the pot calling the kettle black"
"You callin' me a pot?",
*shrug* so I explained how once upon a time pots and kettles were made of cast iron, a black metal, hoping she could figure it out.
"you callin' me a kettle?"
This time I thought a more direct approach was needed. I told her that it was a case of the pot accusing the kettle of something that the pot is also guilty of. (or something like that, this was at 5am, after many Snakebites)
...(all together now) "you callin' me black?"
Now. I rarely stoop to this level of bluntness, but I had to reply, "no, my dear lady, I am calling you ignorant" I'd had over 7 solid hours of this... this... woman.
And she had the gall to retort. "no I'm not, I'm payin' attention"
So. That is why I'm not a great humanitarian. These are the choice examples of my encounters, but there are many, many more along these lines.
