In 1999 three archeologists descended into the cave network below London. These arccheologists were searching for signs of habitation by "primitive" peoples. What they discovered was worrying. Remnants hinting at the existence of an ancient Goth community.

The floor of the cave was covered with a viscous, slightly sticky substance. After tests it was discovered to be a combination of cider, lager, and blackcurrant. In one corner of the cave were broken chains and damaged silver pendants. The area now known as Soho, where the caves were first discovered, has been inhabited for millenia. It is not unreasonable to suggest that the Goths of DarkHeart were the pioneers of silversmithing. The intricacy of the pieces is enough to challenge the most competent contempory smiths. The most promising artifact is the hieroglyphs. They appear to depict the mating dance of Goths. Carbon dating shows that the writings to be from around 3000 BC.